Tuesday, November 11, 2008

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

You know I try and be respectful in a world that you don't necessarily have to. People don't call each other back all the time, ignore texts or say, "yeah I had fun" and walk away thinking, "what an A-Hole!" Me, I prefer to take the honesty route, ok, ok, honesty in time, but respect first and foremost. I have a hard time when people ask for my number, I tend to give it out. So after said date last week I panicked and gave it out. He called twice last week and I ignored his call, instead I decided I'd use the e-mail template from my friend and let him know I wasn't interested. Last night I was finally able to make it online and shot out a super cordial e-mail.

"It was good to meet you. I wasn't trying to be rude by not calling you back, I probably shouldn't have given you my number to begin with. You seem very nice but I don't think its going to work out. Good Luck!"

Nice, right? I don't completely believe in ignoring calls, I prefer to be put out of my misery and attempt to do the same to others. This is what I got back this morning...

"Its not my fault you have bad taste!"

WOW!!! That's what I'm talking about super hero, unnecessary attitude. I guess some people always need to have the last word.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Alright the gig's up!

I've finally figured it out, you guys can stop the charade and its time to come clean. Truman was let out of his fake world, eventually, time to let me sail to Fiji.

What am I talking about? Life. Why is it every time I go out with a guy it feels like I am on candid camera. Case in point.

Sunday evening I had some time and decided ok, I'll give this guy a shot, he seems normal and looks like he has a sense of humor. He also worked with my extremely busy schedule, 6 reschedules when we finally found a date that worked.

We met down at Fritz, he was late, maybe 10 minutes or so, not a huge deal but I was hungry. I had heard about the fries and was hoping they were as awesome as their reputation. We walked in and I said, ok so how does this work, am I supposed to find 3 toppings that all compliment each other or is each one independent of the other? And he looked at me like I asked the dumbest question of the week and responded, you aren't getting fries. Oh but I can buy my own fries and it takes about 4 minutes to get them ready......nevermind.

I was alloted one soda.

Then he asked, how was my weekend and I said; I went to wine country with some friends, rented a limo, had a really great time, relaxing yet fun. And I asked him, how was your weekend, response: I went to wine country with some friends, rented a limo, had a really great time, relaxing yet fun. I said no really, and he stared at me. Sense of humor, maybe, or socially awkward, perhaps.

We sat down and it was like pulling teeth. So what do you do? "I'm a super hero." Ok what's your day job super hero? "I'm a full time super hero." ok but all super hero's have a day job. Batman-Bruce Wayne Enterprises, Superman-Journalist, Spiderman-Photographer, Iron Man-Tycoon. "That's a blanket statement, so if I list off 5 items that are green, everything is green? I don't have a day job I am a super hero, Batman didn't really have a day job, he was a billionaire." Wow, he's a figure head of a company and lives his public life as that head, that is his alter ego, that is his "job."

I was annoyed, new topic. So do you have any siblings? Yes. Are they girls or boys? Girls. Um..where do you sit in the family order. They are younger 5 and 8 years. No elaboration. There were also actual questions he refused to answer and just stared at me. I had to ask repeatedly to get answers out of him, if he bothered. If you really hate the conversation, why don't you steer this ship, I have no problem relinquishing control of the vessel . Also while staring at me he did this thing with his face and I couldn't tell if it was a nervous tic, no biggie, or if it was on purpose. I almost felt like it was a joke and he was trying to get me to react.

When he finally talked a bit he accused me of trying to impress him and pretending to know about baseball when I really didn't. Impress him!! The only thing I knew about this guy was he's a super hero from Wisconsin, who plays soccer and drinks bud. How can I possibly be trying to impress him about baseball when I have no clue if he likes it. His test? How many balls does it take for a batter to get on base? If you are going to be a jerk at least use a harder question, and yes I told him that-minus the jerk bit. He also got offended when I called him a cheesehead since he was a Packers fan. My bad.

It was an extremely rough hour, I was this [---] close to blurting out, you are the most difficult human being I have ever met!!!! Thankfully instead he said, Time to go. Relief poured over me. I followed him out, stopped to say, thanks when he starts talking....he had a good time and wanted my phone number, Wow Chandler! Let's put this out of our misery son, no need for pseudo-pleasantries. I think he's related to the band-aid guy.